Single Young People And The Mistakes That Make Them Miserable – Part 3
The Mistakes of Woman
In studying today’s youth, it is apparent that both male and female are making mistakes in relationships. Statistics confirm the tragic consequences of the many areas of the wrong choices that youth are making.
Census figures confirm that there are more women on planet earth than men. In Christian circles, it is even more scarce. Because the ratio is so disproportionate, women tend to make mistakes. They panic. They seem to sense the real possibility of being single.
As a result, too many women settle for a guy that they know is not the "right guy" for them. Yet they put up with him because they feel it’s better than being alone. If questioned at all about the guy in her life, she becomes very defensive. How many times have we heard the excuse that "He’ll change" or "Don’t judge him."
Most women want a committed relationship from one special man. It seems to be something that they are born with. This is an emotional need that is very strong. Therefore, many women willingly place themselves in a position to be mistreated. This is why God allowed Moses to write a bill of divorcement. His desire was to protect women from relationships where they are subjected to abuse and mistreatment. Yet today’s women put themselves in situations that God desires to protect them from.
In our day, there is a new attitude of equality and opportunity available for women. Countless are the women who have moved up the corporate ladder and enjoyed positions of power and prestige. They have studied hard and worked hard, and they are being rewarded financially.
Even though there are lots of opportunities for women, instinctively, not much has changed. That same attitude is frequently seen.
Even if there is a shortage of men, women should just deal with it. Don’t go nuts over every single man that comes along. Have respect for yourself and your faith, and get your mind off men. If you see a man or meet a man, he is a person; not a potential mate. Therefore, you should relate to him as a person.
When single women get together, what do they mostly talk about? Men. They talk about the problems finding a man or problems related to some man they are involved with. The desire to find a man really affects their thinking. It makes life miserable.
God knows exactly how many women and men are here. He is the only One that can deal with it. He is still in control, and He still has a plan for you. He wants you to have joy and contentment in your life. He has many ways for you to succeed in that, not just one. By feeling like you must have a male friend, you limit God.
Single women don’t believe they can find fulfillment in their life outside of a marriage relationship. The problem with that thinking is that it assumes God is supposed to make us happy. But our happiness is not God’s primary purpose. He promises us joy, peace and contentment. If we find happiness in our pursuit of holiness, then that’s fine. But my experience is that happiness is fleeting and short-lived. We certainly can’t live by it. Yet the fruits of righteousness will bless our lives many times over.
I consider myself a godly person, but my life is not one happy event after another. I’m not always excited and many times I don’t feel very optimistic. Often life is a grind; a hassle that just won’t end. But I have peace, joy and contently. I am not overwhelmed by events that happen to me. I don’t place unrealistic expectations on people; I trust the Word of God and He keeps me stable. That’s what matters most.
I believe that very few people, including Christians, know anything about contentment. They are trying to be happy. They are putting the cart before the horse, and that’s a hard way to travel.
Simply pursuing things that we believe will make us happy will never fulfill our life. Things like a man. For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; Giving thanks unto the Father, which has made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light Colossians 1:9-12. Fulfillment comes when we are filled with the Spirit, full of God, filled with the fruits of righteousness and overflowing in the knowledge of God.
We think we know what will make us happy, and we don’t let God or anyone else tell us any different. No matter how much Isaiah 48:17 says, "I am the Lord which teacheth thee to profit, which lead thee in the way thou should go", we go the way we want to go. And as a result, we are miserable.
Why is it so difficult to understand that God loves us and will do what is best for us? Why can’t we trust Him? If we think about it, that’s the real problem; not a shortage of men.
Let me quickly summarize what I think are some of the biggest mistakes single women make. First, women think and talk too much about men. Single woman can and should have other priorities besides men. When they get together, instead of talking about men, why not encourage each other spiritually.
A second mistake is that I believe that women run too much on emotions. In this area, men and women were created vastly different. Women are caring, tenderhearted and nurturing whereas men are logical, factual and practical. Therefore, women feel things more deeply and tend to make decision based on how they feel. But there must be a balance; otherwise you will do things without thinking.
I have observed that more and more, people of our society are living by their feelings. No facts, no principles, no values, no conscience, and no bible teaching. If it feels good, it must be true. So go on and hold on to that no good guy.
We should never disregard our feelings, but we need to put them in the proper place and make right decisions. Tell your emotions to just calm down, shut up and get in line with the Word of God.
As soon as you feel strong feelings for a man, I suggest getting counsel and insight from people you know you can trust. Go to an older person who’s been there and done that. Listen to their experience and seriously consider what they say.
A final mistake I’d like to mention is that women tend to be much to open to men they meet. They tell them too much and give them too much trust too early. Men have nothing to figure out. There is no mystery or challenge. Everything is laid out for them like they are some prince, when they don’t deserve the time of day from you. I assure you one thing; they will never be as open with you as you are with them. They will never give you their car keys or access to their cell phone. Stop putting your foot in your mouth. You either make men uncomfortable or they’ll take advantage of you. I’m not saying to be hypocritical, but don’t say everything that you feel. A man has plenty of time to earn your trust, and if he is not willing to pursue that in an honorable way, then let that pimp move on. And when he leaves, shout, praise God, and treat yourself to dinner.
Women are special in the eyes of God, and He wants you to succeed in everything. This is especially true when it comes to relationships. I want to encourage you to trust God to guide you in this very important area of your life.
By: Edmund Brown