Leftover Daddy
Men today face many temptations. As I make that statement, I am not speaking of the obvious lust-driven temptation. I mean the tendency to get caught up in so many other things that we become emotionally and physically absent from our family.
Any good husband knows the importance of providing a living for his family. First Timothy 5:8 states that the man who refuses to provide for his family has, in fact, "denied the faith" and is worse off than an unbeliever.
Sure, we should provide for our family. But when we substitute giving them things for giving them ourselves, we fall prey to a subtle temptation that weakens our home's foundation.
It's easy and tempting to give our children toys instead of time, when they need our time most. Many studies confirm that today's youth can grow up without their dad. This happens often, even when dad is right there at home. Before you know it, our kids are well past puberty and have no idea what it means to have a daddy.
I am happy to see a man today who remains devoted to his family. Yet, too often dads spend long hours at work, and by the time they get home, they are too tired, or they just don't want to be bothered. He has given his best to his job, and all that remains for the family is "leftovers." Leftover time, leftover energy, leftover patience, and understanding.
Leftover dads don't have time to cheer for their child during a ball game, or play catch with their son. They don't have time to help with the homework or take the family to a movie. They never take time to tell their daughter how beautiful she is, or explain the value of her virginity. You see, girls don't lose their virginity; they give it away.
By supplying expensive jackets and sneakers, we assume they know we care. But no amount of material stuff can replace daddy's involvement.
Listen, men, our wives and children deserve better than leftovers. We need to deliberately save some time and energy for them. They need to see us rested and joyful, not wound up and frowning all the time.
The most frequent complaint of wives today, whether in the church or outside, is that after their husband goes to work and makes the money, he feels entitled to do whatever he wants with the rest of his time. So instead of spending time with her and the kids, he goes hunting and fishing or watches television. This is a big problem because when dads aren't involved physically and emotionally with their children, they (the children) tend to identify with worldly values. The result is youth who have no sound moral character.
I am speaking from the standpoint of one who constantly struggles to be there for my wife and daughters. It feels like something is always pulling at my time and energy, but I remind myself how valuable my family is, and that I can't keep them waiting too long.
Besides being an example for them, my wife and I always try to be there to help them handle the issues that arise in their lives. We keep track of their school progress, their friends, and what they watch on technology and television. We talk to them as a friend because they may handle situations in a way that makes them not listen to you or share their concerns with you. Your words may be law at the office, but if you want respect at home, you have to earn it.
I can remember when I was first called into the ministry, I put a great deal of pressure on my family to perform a certain way. I was taught and believed that if the preacher's family wasn't perfect, he wasn't qualified to preach. I was so rigid that my family wouldn't walk or talk at church (and I had toddlers then).
Thank God I got out of that foolishness. My children are just like any other children in this demonic culture. They need a lot of time and support to make it, and I plan to give it to them. Ephesians 6:4 says, "And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." So we shouldn't annoy and irritate our children with harsh words and rigid character. They should not be so grieved with us that they are more comfortable when we are gone.
I don't have performance standards for my children. Sure, I discipline and protect them, but I also encourage them to be themselves, and to build their lives on the Word of God. This is a process they will be involved in the rest of their lives, unless we frustrate them to the point that they rebel and give up.
You may think your presence and involvement in your family's life isn't that vital. Or you may feel that it's not that important to be the spiritual pacesetter for your family. I assure you, nothing motivates a family like seeing Daddy love and walk with God. Being the spiritual leader doesn't mean you have to become a theologian. But it does mean making family relationships a priority.
Are you ready for the challenge? Start spending valuable time with God. Become a man of prayer. Make room on your list for your family, somewhere near the top. The greatest gift you can give your family is you.
Any good husband knows the importance of providing a living for his family. First Timothy 5:8 states that the man who refuses to provide for his family has, in fact, "denied the faith" and is worse off than an unbeliever.
Sure, we should provide for our family. But when we substitute giving them things for giving them ourselves, we fall prey to a subtle temptation that weakens our home's foundation.
It's easy and tempting to give our children toys instead of time, when they need our time most. Many studies confirm that today's youth can grow up without their dad. This happens often, even when dad is right there at home. Before you know it, our kids are well past puberty and have no idea what it means to have a daddy.
I am happy to see a man today who remains devoted to his family. Yet, too often dads spend long hours at work, and by the time they get home, they are too tired, or they just don't want to be bothered. He has given his best to his job, and all that remains for the family is "leftovers." Leftover time, leftover energy, leftover patience, and understanding.
Leftover dads don't have time to cheer for their child during a ball game, or play catch with their son. They don't have time to help with the homework or take the family to a movie. They never take time to tell their daughter how beautiful she is, or explain the value of her virginity. You see, girls don't lose their virginity; they give it away.
By supplying expensive jackets and sneakers, we assume they know we care. But no amount of material stuff can replace daddy's involvement.
Listen, men, our wives and children deserve better than leftovers. We need to deliberately save some time and energy for them. They need to see us rested and joyful, not wound up and frowning all the time.
The most frequent complaint of wives today, whether in the church or outside, is that after their husband goes to work and makes the money, he feels entitled to do whatever he wants with the rest of his time. So instead of spending time with her and the kids, he goes hunting and fishing or watches television. This is a big problem because when dads aren't involved physically and emotionally with their children, they (the children) tend to identify with worldly values. The result is youth who have no sound moral character.
I am speaking from the standpoint of one who constantly struggles to be there for my wife and daughters. It feels like something is always pulling at my time and energy, but I remind myself how valuable my family is, and that I can't keep them waiting too long.
Besides being an example for them, my wife and I always try to be there to help them handle the issues that arise in their lives. We keep track of their school progress, their friends, and what they watch on technology and television. We talk to them as a friend because they may handle situations in a way that makes them not listen to you or share their concerns with you. Your words may be law at the office, but if you want respect at home, you have to earn it.
I can remember when I was first called into the ministry, I put a great deal of pressure on my family to perform a certain way. I was taught and believed that if the preacher's family wasn't perfect, he wasn't qualified to preach. I was so rigid that my family wouldn't walk or talk at church (and I had toddlers then).
Thank God I got out of that foolishness. My children are just like any other children in this demonic culture. They need a lot of time and support to make it, and I plan to give it to them. Ephesians 6:4 says, "And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." So we shouldn't annoy and irritate our children with harsh words and rigid character. They should not be so grieved with us that they are more comfortable when we are gone.
I don't have performance standards for my children. Sure, I discipline and protect them, but I also encourage them to be themselves, and to build their lives on the Word of God. This is a process they will be involved in the rest of their lives, unless we frustrate them to the point that they rebel and give up.
You may think your presence and involvement in your family's life isn't that vital. Or you may feel that it's not that important to be the spiritual pacesetter for your family. I assure you, nothing motivates a family like seeing Daddy love and walk with God. Being the spiritual leader doesn't mean you have to become a theologian. But it does mean making family relationships a priority.
Are you ready for the challenge? Start spending valuable time with God. Become a man of prayer. Make room on your list for your family, somewhere near the top. The greatest gift you can give your family is you.
By: Edmund Brown